Posted by: Jonjon | June 30, 2009

Kyle and Wise One on Fear


Kyle and Wise One on Fear

June 30 2009

Kyle “When I have a fear, I face it upfront. But it takes me many years to release the fear. Why? I thought once you face the fear it will disappear?”
Wise One “Because you have just faced the situation”
Kyle “Isn’t that enough?”
Wise One “You forgot to face the emotions too”
Kyle “What do you mean?”
Wise One “Say if you had a fear of public speech. No matter how many times you do the public speech, if you do not face your own emotions, the fear itself will never be released”
Kyle “But for some…..it works..”
Wise One “After you have faced the situation many times, naturally you will face your emotions indirectly bit by bit. But it’s faster to just face your emotions. Otherwise you would have reaped little from having many horrifying experience”
Kyle “…I still don’t understand”
Wise One “Let me give you an extreme example. A man with a fear of loneliness, has just become stranded alone on an island. There is no one, just himself. Do you think by becoming stranded on the Island alone by himself will release that fear of loneliness?”
Kyle “……He may be lonely for a while…but he’ll get used to it”
Wise One “You see…. if he doesn’t face his emotions, he would have suffered for 30 years in lonliness until his fear dissipates. But if he chose to face his own emotions directly , and choose to let go of the fear of lonliness and accept the situation as it is, then he would have moved forward…and have enjoyed 30 years in peace.”
Kyle “ahhhhhh yes…I understand”
Wise One “That’s why sometimes the most suffering experiences are the most rewarding ones, because the deepest emotions inside you are brought out. If you are able to face your emotions during that time, then the next time you won’t have to face it again.”
Kyle “……yes….but you mean the situation will never come back to me again?”
Wise One “The universe is kind. If you have no fear, there will be no need for you to face a certain situation in order to release that fear. But…even if a similar situation arises, it won’t affect you anyways since you’ll just be indifferent to it”
Kyle “oooo…”
Wise One “The sad thing is that many people ….endure incredibly painful experiences….but never face their own emotions. That’s why they have to face it again and again until they finally choose to release their own learning.”
Kyle “…I remembered that I used to have a fear in class of not reaching my hand up and giving out my own opinions. Because I wanted to get rid of this fear, I would always put my hand up and give out my own opinions. But now I know why I could never release the fear even though I faced that situation many times upfront”
Wise One “What is the reason?”
Kyle “Because I have always put my hand up in fear”
Wise One “Yes….in order to release that fear, you have to be able to have no fear before, during, and after you put your hand up. You see, it’s more about how you face your emotions, rather than the situation itself”
Kyle “I understand now, I just can’t believe that I faced so many embarassing moments to have not forward….”
Wise One “You are brave, and have moved forward.”
Kyle “But I could have moved forward more”
Wise One “It’s having these kind of experience that will allow you to learn how to deal with your emotions. So take every kind of experience as a rewarding one, and it will be”
Kyle “Thanks….I feel a bit better now…just not sure why teacher never tells me these things”
Wise One “You know why”
Kyle “My emotions are my own responsibility”
Wise One “Yes”

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