Posted by: Jonjon | May 29, 2009

Bob and Teacher on Standards


May 29 2009

Bob and Teacher on Standards

Teacher “..Wow she’s an angry one isn’t she”
Bob “Haha yeah…but I do admire how direct she can be about her feelings. I am
always in fear of expressing my own emotions, but woah…she just lets it all out
like a broken tap”
Teacher “Yeah….girls are more open than guys”
Bob “…..you know..these days I’ve been thinking that I may have some problems
I have to deal with”
Teacher “Haha…you just realised? I’ve been trying to tell you alllll the time!”
Bob “Well…yeah….I guess….I don’t know. It’s pretty hard to describe. I
mean…I never really realised that I had a problem with guilt until I started
observing other people’s personality”
Teacher “..?
Bob “I mean….I always put other people’s needs before mine, which I thought
was what a loving person would do. And I would feel guilty if their needs are
not met….But…I just realised….I am the only one who is doing this”
Teacher “Yeah, you shouldn’t always feel guilty”
Bob “You know…it got me thinking. Maybe…I’m not so loving. Maybe I just
have a problem with guilt, that’s why I give so much to people”
Teacher “…Noo..that’s not it. You are a loving person, like everyone else
naturally. It’s just that you feel guilty from time to time. It’s not necessary
to feel guilty really…especially for something that you haven’t done don’t you agree?”
Bob “haha yea…but really have no idea why I feel guilty. People never feel guilty when they
put me down, or take things away from me. I am always constantly worrying about
whether what I said or done have hurt someone else’s feelings. Maybe I’m just
overreacting.”
Teacher “Haha you are…once you get rid of the guilt, you’ll be able to see
things in a clearer light”
Bob “wonder why..”
Teacher “You have self-hatred learning”
Bob “Me?”
Teacher “Yea…”
Bob “And self-hatred is part of judgement?”
Teacher “Yeah…I’ve told you before”
Bob “So hmm you think I judge myself too harshly””
Teacher “Like you do with people”
Bob “Hmm. I think i have an idea. Maybe the best way to know what kind of problems I have, is
to see how people who have gone through their learnings in this world react to
certain people and situations. By measuring the size of my reaction to theirs, I will know how much problems I will have to trim down until I’m done”
Teacher “haha……those people have probably already left. Well, in the end, you
don’t really react at all..so compared to your reactions, I’ll say that it may be a while…many lifes…before you’re done with your learnings”
Bob “Yeah…I guess. I mean, at first, I thought not reacting at all was
like….I don’t know, makes you think that if you achieved that state you’d be
an emotionless living statute of some kind, but now I realised that……it’s a
state where you simply feel “no need” to react to anything at all. I’ve experienced that
state when my mind was clear, and it allowed me to express myself so much
freer at the same time more loving…because I didn’t care about how the other
person would judge me, and I didn’t need to judge myself too.”
Teacher “Yea..something like that..*yawn*”
Bob “And really, when you are finally able to not judge you and others….you
will be a loving being anyways right?”
Teacher “..Well, we all are….just some learnings get in our way of loving
relationships”
Bob “Hmm….that kinda makes me question about my standards. Maybe there is no
need to have standards”
Teacher “Yea….go and pick a girl on the street and that’ll be your wife. I’d
like to see that”
Bob “…Okay… maybe I should have some standards.”
Teacher “Just accept everyone for who they are and you’ll be fine.”
Bob “Yeah…maybe my expectations of who to hang around with are too high,
that’s why I’ve always chosen to be alone”
Teacher “It’s too high, you’re like Michael..always searching for perfection.”
Bob “Yeah I guess. I mean..I guess with all the problems I carry, I tend to
overreact from times to times.
Teacher “Yeah…*yawn*..”
Bob “For example, if my best friend stole my
girlfriend, I would get pissed and immediately leave the two of them forever
. But if I learn to let go of anger, then I would be able to accept that particular situation, and perhaps see that maybe my girlfriend just don’t love me enough…or the relationship was never
to be”
Teacher “ummm, but after you realise what kind of person your best
friend is, i think it’s better not to accept him into your life even though you
…accept him. It’s better to keep loving friends around you, rather than ones
who are always trying to set up traps on you”
Bob “Hmm, but if my emotions do not get affected, then it shouldn’t matter
would it?”
Teacher “Yeah…but but…. wouldn’t you rather hang around with someone who
don’t constantly go around and create dramas in your life?”
Bob “But wouldn’t life be boring then?”
Teacher “…Boringness comes from an unsettling mind.”
Bob “I guess…but the experience…”
Teacher “There is no need to experience anymore unnecessary sadness…I’m sure you’d agree. I certainly don’t want to experience another backstabbing again, I mean..literally, the last life I had …ouch..that’s why I always disliked people standing behind me”
Bob “..errr….. what if I don’t feel sadness?”
Teacher “Well, I think we are all capable of feeling sadness even if we feel that there is no need to react to it, probably just to a smaller degree. You see, compassion for yourself and others will never disappear, and I’m sure you’ll feel compassion for yourself when someone sabotages your life one way or another”
Bob “Hmm….sorry gotta go to the toilet…must be the curry”
Teacher “Alright………have fun”

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