Posted by: Jonjon | May 25, 2009

Bob and Teacher on Relationships

Bob and Teacher on Relationships

May 25 2009

Bob “Wow……Michael really is gone”
Teacher “Is he alright?”
Bob “I think he has gone overseas… Hmm…wow…he’s pretty courageous isn’t he? leaving all by himself to find a spiritual teacher”
Teacher “I see that as running away. He’ll never find one…..he will have to endure a long period of suffering before he comes back again”
Bob “Are you just going to let him go like that? I thought you cared for him?”
Teacher “I respect….well not respect….but I don’t force people to stay. I’m not here to make decisions for people, rather I try to get them to learn to make decisions for themselves.
Bob “Ohhh…so he finally made a choice”
Teacher “In this case…he has pretty much made a horrible decision”
Bob “I thought everyone’s life has a certain purpose to fulfill? Maybe him leaving to find a spiritual teacher was part of his life plan, and by doing this he will be able to foward?”
Teacher “haha, right… He had two choices in his life plan. To stay with me or to escape. He chose the latter which now means his moving foward is going to be postponed”
Bob “….. Damn…”
Teacher “Nothing I can do…it’s his choice. I’d like him to come back, as I do with my other students, but they just run away when something comes up within them. In case of Michael’s…he’s too obsessed about perfection….which explains his indecisiveness really”
Bob “Indecisiveness?”
Teacher “Yeah…he can’t make a choice because he’s afraid that his choice will not be able to bring a perfect outcome.”
Bob “Yeah…he’s pretty indecisive isn’t he”
Teacher “So are you”
Bob “And you too”
Teacher “haha..I’m a bit”
Bob “…I’m going to miss him”
Teacher “yeah….it’s hard sometimes. If you stay on this path the correct way, you will find that many relationships are just temporary…that’s why it’s sometimes easy to find yourself alone by yourself”
Bob “I thought you’re not lonely?”
Teacher “Haha I’m not. I just get bored from time to time…everyone just run away when their ugly side is revealed to them, and I’m there to do that.”
Bob “…why can’t you have a lasting relationship on this path?”
Teacher “Umm you can. I’m just saying that if you were to be on a strict path. Because you see, relationships are all about learning”
Bob “That’s a bit cruel….seeing relationships like that. Does this even apply to boyfriend and girlfriends ? and marriages?”
Teacher “Well….marriages will never happen for me haha. But I used to always leave a relationship once I’ve learnt what I need”
Bob “What?!?!? That’s inhuman!!!!!”
Teacher “I mean…I do tell them that I’m just in it for the learning so..”
Bob “What??? your loved ones would get pissed off at you wouldn’t they?”
Teacher “Well..I’ve always wanted to stay longer. But they always end up to be the one leaving me so I guess..I never really left…”
Bob “What?”
Teacher “As much as I like to stay in a relationship, I can pretty much let go of the relationship once there is too much suffering. Suffering happens when a relationship is not meant to be….people usually can’t let go and that causes even more suffering. Why bother really”
Bob “… do you know what kind of learning you are supposed to get from a relationship? Are you saying that if I’m attracted to a certain person,….there is learning to be had with that person?”
Teacher “Yeah”
Bob “But that applys to everyone….I can learn from pretty much everyone around me”
Teacher “That was what I was trying to tell Michael. But when you are really attracted to someone, it is your heart that is getting you to go foward to a particular learning.”
Bob “So I can move faster if I get into a relationship?”
Teacher “Not necessarily a boyfriend girlfriend one. But all relationships, if you are willing to face your learning, you will be able to move foward. Intimate relationships will make you move foward more, because it will bring out more your awareness of certain problems you may have to deal with”
Bob “But if I get into relationships with the pre-knowledge that it is not going to last long, that to me just seems to be so unfair on the other person, and makes me feel somewhat guilty”
Teacher “It doesn’t have to be short term”
Bob “What?”
Teacher “If you like her…cough..or him…, you can stay. People can work on their learnings together. It may be that it can benefit you greatly if you get in a long intimate relationship”
Bob “But then won’t I miss out on other learnings?”
Teacher “You can still get learnings from other people”
Bob “But…this is kinda contradicting what you are saying before”
Teacher “Well….it’s because I have more things to deal with…..thus I have to have many relationships where I have to go in and out…”
Bob “And I don’t?”
Teacher “nothing is set in stone”
Bob “Maybe you just don’t like commitment”
Teacher “I like commitment. I guess with relationships…just like with any other things, you have to make many attempts until you finally realise what kind of relationship or person you want to be with.”
Bob “Do you know now?”
Teacher “yea…that’s why I don’t get into relationships even though I am physically attracted to a person”
Bob “But then won’t you be missing out on a particular learning?”
Teacher “Not really. I can still have a relationship with that person. But instead of going in, I stand outside and view what kind of learning I really have to deal with”
Bob “What? That’s possible?”
Teacher “Yes”
Bob “….it’s all a bit confusing to me….”
Teacher “You worry too much.”


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