Posted by: Jonjon | May 22, 2009

Bob and Michael on Trust and Judgements


Bob and Michael on Trust and Judgements

May 22 2009

Fiction

Michael : “Do you think I judge people?”
Bob :”Yes I do”
Michael :” Really…when?”
Bob : “Few weeks ago you called me a fat bald man”
Michael “It was a just joke…and you knew it. I don’t think that’s judging.”
Bob “Hmm, so I don’t appear fat and bald to you?”
Michael “Well, you are fat and bald, so I guess it was more of a statement made based on your appearance”
Bob “But that hurt my feelings, so you judged me on my appearance”
Michael “That’s kinda ludicrous really. Fat people can’t expect me to call them thin…and I think I have the freedom to make a statement don’t I? Why can’t I say
something like that…especially when its true? I would be lying if I said it in any other ways..”
Bob “But your judgement hurts other people’s feelings”
Michael “I don’t think It’s my problem, but it’s theirs. I don’t see why gay and fat people get soupset when I call them gay and fat. I’m usually just making a neutral statement really. It’s them who are overreacting. If they are upset about who they are, then why are they the way they are?
Bob “Hmm..you got a point there… so maybe … judging means something else.”
Michael “Hmm”
Bob “Maybe judging only happens when it arouses the sort of emotion that is opposite of love when a particular type of person comes across your path?”
Michael “Ahhhh. Yeah…”
Bob “Hmm, does me being fat and bald make you see me as a lower being?”
Michael “Well…kinda…but it’s not affecting our relationship”
Bob “Well you’re judging then!!!”
Michael “No I am not!!”

Michael Goes to Teacher’s place
Teacher “I’ve been expecting you”
Michael “really? You’ve anticipated my arrival?”
Teacher “Yes…you coming here was meant to happen”
Michael “Wow, really?”
Teacher “Yes..and you were late!”
Michael “What? I thought if it was meant to happen, I should have arrived on time?”
Teacher “The messages I get do not deal with time… If something was meant to happen, it will….at some time. “
Michael “What causes the delays?”
Teacher “People making the wrong choices. You see, each choice affects another, and the universe usually has to spend a bit of time putting everything into place again and again”
Michael “…”
Teacher “And what question have you brought me today?”
Michael “I’d like to know what judgement is about. Bob said I judge him but I don’t”
Teacher “You judge me”
Michael “I do? If I judge you, I wouldn’t be here wouldn’t I?”
Teacher “that’s another matter”
Michael “Define judgement”
Teacher “you calling Bob fat and bald”
Michael “……But I didn’t feel any hatred towards him”
Teacher “It’s still judgement”
Michael “That means you are always judging me!!”
Teacher ” I advise you more than I judge you don’t you agree”
Michael “…”
Teacher “How many friends do you have?”
Michael “Just Bob at the moment”
Teacher “what happened to the others?”
Michael “They treated me like crap..”
Teacher “Your judgement has pushed people away from you”
Michael “I’m allowed to have preferences as to who I hang around with. I’m fed up with hanging around with backstabbers”
Teacher “Ahh…I see that you’re standing up for yourself now…I am a bit proud..and somewhat annoyed at the same time”
Michael “Really?”
Teacher “But you still have so so so much to learn my crippled catterpillar.”
Michael “Like what?”
Teacher “Bob is not bald…he’s just wearing a wig”
Michael “huh?”
Teacher “Yes….it is a wig”
Michael “A bald wig? …Bob has hair? but wigs are for bald people?”
Teacher “Whoever said that?”
Michael “What what what?!”

Michael Goes to Bob’s House
Michael “Are you wearing a wig??”
Bob “Man….you don’t just come into someone’s house in the middle of the night without ringing them…I’m going to have to set some boundary rules soon”
Michael “But aren’t we friends?”
Bob “If having friendship requires one’s privacy to be sacrificed, then I rather be friendless”
Michael “you’re judging!!!!”
Bob “Who?”
Michael “..I dunno, people?”
Bob “you’re confusing me”
Michael, “But you have hair!!!!!!!”
Bob “Yeah…..I put on my bald wig in the mornings. It makes my head itch during the night if I sleep with it”
Michael “Why!???”
Bob “I don’t like people to judge me on appearance. You see, I like people to accept me for who I am on the inside rather than what they see on the outside…that’s why only the people who stay with me till the end are my good friends”
Michael “But you don’t have much friends do you !!”
Bob “….that just shows you how much people judge each other”
Michael “……you have hair!!!”
Bob “Are you in shock or something?”
Michael “….this judgment thing is horrible! I have to admit,…I was a bit repulsed by your appearance at first”
Bob “Even though you judged me…you gave me a chance. It’s this chance that people has to give to one another. We never jump to conclusions when we first meet people. We don’t judge people just because they have a different appearance or personality to us. It’s easier to go through our learning with an open heart. With a closed heart, we will end up only pushing people away and feeling alone in the end….not a good feeling…..”
Michael “……..I didn’t know you were this wise….wow…I feel like such an idiot. But there’s something I don’t understand..”
Bob “What?”
Michael “You have an ability to tell what kind of a person is by looking at them at first sight. You’re usually correct…but is that judging?”
Bob “….Umm..hmm….well if it’s correct then it shouldn’t be. Umm I’m not really sure. Umm.
Michael “Teacher does that too”
Bob “I guess it’s judging.”
Michael “Teacher always told us to trust ourselves, if I had trusted my judgement based on your appearance when I had first met you, we would have never become friends would we?”
Bob “Umm…you’re getting me confused….let me think about it..”
Michael “Should we trust our intuition when we meet someone?”

Bob “I think I got the answer. “
Michael “What you mean?”
Bob “Well, if you think someone looks like a murderer, you should trust your intuition I guess. Intuition is not judgement. Judgement is something that blinds one’s intuition”
Michael “How do you seperate the two? ……if you had never talked to him, where is this intuition that he is a murderer coming from? From your judgement?? “
Bob “Damn, ummm…..will we have not judged if I had said that if you thought someone “felt” like a murderer instead of looking like one?”
Michael “Not sure…not sure”
Bob “I think judging people are quite unavoidable in this world, especially when there are more selfish people than selfless people. People resorting to cheating, lying, murdering to get what they want….breaking everyone’s trust in the process.
Michael “It’s sad isn’t it”
Bob “But but…I just had an idea”
Michael “What?”
Bob “If we learn to trust people, then we wouldn’t have to judge them would we?”
Michael “Yea I guess, but how can you trust people when there are no one to trust? “
Bob “I think that’s ours problem”
Michael “Yea?….but I know a friend that has no problem with trusting everyone, and in the end she got raped by the guy she was going out with”
Bob “What?? Hmm, maybe she ignored the many signs and her intuitive feeling that something was about to go wrong. I had a friend with a similar situation too. She knew that she was suffering in a relationship, but she was just too scared of letting go. In another sense, her intuition was telling her that if she stayed even further, she would endure even more suffering..and that’s what happened. She used to always come and complain to me about her bruises that she had received form her boyfriend but she never planned to leave the relationship…..
Ahh I think I understand. I think judging means jumping to a conclusion about a certain thing/person without evidence to justify for why you see it that way. If my friend had told me that her boyfriend was a bad person, that would not be judging, it would merely be a statement based on experience”
Michael “..that makes sense………”
Bob “Anyways…..I think if somehow, we can stop judging people, we will be able to let more people into our lifes.”
Michael “What? even murderers? What if you let a murderer into your life and he killed your loved ones just because you decided not to trust your intuition when you first saw him?”
Bob “…..but do those things ever happen?”
Michael “…I’ve heard stories..I think…”
Bob “Maybe we’re worrying too much?”
Michael “….not sure”
Bob “I dunno. I think I’ve kinda had enough of judging people. I’m just going to stop judging people from now on”
Michael “Haha…just like that?”
Bob “Well, I’ll try my best. Judging people makes me unhappy. Umm, maybe only judge 10%. I don’t think I’m capable of not judging someone who is walking around with handcuffs on them”
Michael “this is confusing me…”
Bob “ahh..what the heck. I’ll give everyone a chance, see what happens. If I don’t like them after giving them a chance then I’ll just exclude them from my life then”
Michael “Yeah? but isn’t excluding judging?”
Bob “Well….one step at a time I guess”
Michael “…man…maybe those people who have like a million friends on facebook don’t have the same learning of judgement as us”
Bob “Yea…they seem pretty happy don’t they”
Michael “Hmmm….”
Bob “Actually I just got a message”
Michael “What? From where?”
Bob “My intuition. It just told me that if we learn to stop judging people, we will be able to cross many paths with people that we otherwise would have avoided. As a result, we will gain vaulable experience from having had relationships with these people, and eventually come to the realisation that some people are not so bad afterall. Through this process of meeting people, we will eventually be able to open our hearts, and learn how to trust people once again”
Michael “Your intuition is strange. That’s basically telling us to lower our standards then isn’t it?”
Bob “My intuition just told me that havings standards is one of the causes of sadness, it’s the antithesis of acceptance…accepting everything and everyone for who they are”
Michael “Hmm..a….I think you got a point there”
Bob “Hmm…………dunno, i’ll try and see what happens. No judging from now on, but I will still make jokes based on appearances”
Michael “Hmm….Well, I dunno, I might try later. Actually, I’ll play it safe and see if it will work out for you”
Bob “You’re not going to do it with me?”
Michael “I dunno, I’ll have to ask teacher”
Bob “Hmmm, I don’t think we can get any answers from him”
Michael “….it’s like that isn’t it?”

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