Posted by: Jonjon | May 12, 2009

Some Paradoxes May 13 2009


Some Paradoxes May 13 2009

Too many things been coming up in my mind recently, thought I’d jot these down quickly before going into meditation.

In order to accept other people, you must accept that part of you that you don’t accept in other people first.
In order to accept yourself, you must first know who you truly are.
In order to know who you truly are, you must first release the attachment you have to certain things in this world. Money usually distracts people from achieving their real dreams and goals in life.
In order to release the attachment, you must be attached to the object first.In order to have attachments in this world, you must first gain experience in this world.
In order to gain experience in this world, you have to open your heart.In order to open your heart, you have to gain experience in this world.

One part of knowing who you are, is trust.
You have to learn how to trust yourself first.
Trusting others is necessary, but its a hard thing to do in this world.
In order to trust yourself, you have to learn how to make decisions.In order to make the right decisions, you must learn from your mistakes first.
So basically in order to trust yourself, your confidence may rise and fall during the process.

In order to love something, you must be able to learn to love yourself first, this is where acceptance and trust and knowing comes into play.
In order to understand how much you love yourself, what kind of a person you are, you must seclude yourself from worldly distractions, which may lead to even more lonliness.In order to love something unconditionally, you must learn how to not to become attached by it.

In order to love someone, you have to accept that person.In order to accept that person, you must learn how not to control them, and just accept the way they are.
If people are constantly controlling you, you must learn how to be in control.

Situation 1
Sarah asks her boyfriend : “Bob, would you get jealous if I went out with a guy friend of mine?”
Bob : “No”
Sarah “You don’t love me enough do you?”
Bob : “I do love you..enough..”
Sarah “Then why don’t you get jealous?”
Bob : “…..putting it plainly …I can live happily without you I guess..”
Conclusion ” She will be leaving him soon”

Situation 2 – Bob decides to rephrase everything differently

Sarah asks her boyfriend : “Bob, would you get jealous if I went out with a guy friend of mine?”
Bob : “No”
Sarah “You don’t love me enough do you?”
Bob : “I do “
Sarah “Then why don’t you get jealous?”
Bob : “Why do I need to be?”
Sarah “I would be if you are going out with one of your female friends”
Bob : “Well, it’s a problem that you have to deal with…it’s your lack of trust and a bit too much control”
Conclusion ” Sarah leaves..after Bob receives a smack in the face.

Situation 3 – Bob decides to rephrase everything differently, now sacrificing his directness and using worldly platitudes.

Sarah asks her boyfriend : “Bob, would you get jealous if I went out with a guy friend of mine?”
Bob : “No”
Sarah “You don’t love me enough do you?”
Bob : “I do love you”Sarah “Then why don’t you get jealous?”
Bob : “Well…*cough* I’m happy if you are happy”
Sarah “Wow, Bob I love you yay…”
Bob : ” ;)…”
Conclusion “Girls like cosmetic stuffs”

In order to release anger, you must be able to learn to accept. Accepting other people does not mean accepting them into your life, rather it is a way of accepting that people, and situations, are just the way they are.In order to accept other people, you cannot judge other people.In order to not judge other people, you cannot judge yourself.

In order to have strong bonds with people, you must be able to set boundaries. Setting boundaries gives people an idea who you really are. People are allowed their own privacies, and those people who respect this usually will end up being your better friends.

In order to receive, you must learn how to give first. If you always say no, learn how to say yes If you are a giver, you must learn how to receive. If you always say yes, learn how to say no.

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