Posted by: Jonjon | February 25, 2009

Trust – Do you Trust yourself? Acceptance and Decision Making


Trust

Not trusting in yourself is one of the causes of anger and frustration
In order to trust yourself, you have to build confidence in your decision making skills. If you have made many bad decisions in your life, taking this step may be a little bit difficult. But really, if you had made the decision to take responsibility for your life and decisions, by now you would have learnt how to make good decisions rather than bad ones.

Maybe you made the wrong decision in the past because …rather than following what your heart wanted to do..you followed the advice of other people. Or instead of focusing on what will bring you happiness, you focused on what will bring your profit.

For example, if someone you did not like invited you out to lunch at a restaurant that you liked, and she was willing to pay for it, what would you do?

In the past, I would have just thought “I don’t really care” and ended up going out with that particularly person. I mean, if someone is going to shout me lunch or dinner, it’s better than staying at home and do nothing right?

But now, after I have attained a clearer mind of what I want in life, which right now really is happiness and a stable mind, I do pretty much care about who I hang around with. I would rather stay at home and do nothing instead of wasting my time with some person that is going to frustrate me.

In the past, I mistakenly saw this as some form of learning, thinking that by hanging around with people you don’t like, you will eventually learn how to accept people. But this was totally wrong. You see, everyone is different. What you have to learn first is not how to accept people, but rather to accept yourself. If you can accept yourself, that means you have accepted your identity. You have accepted the fact that it is alright for you to have a particular interest, hobby, and like only particular types of people. When you have accepted yourself, you will find that people that you don’t like will start disappearing because you start to lose interest in them, and you will begin to bring in people that you like into your life. You see, you were the ones who decided that it was okay to allow that angry person in your life.
You were the one who created the misery. Now you can also be the one to create happiness.
If you have accepted yourself, you will have an identity. Energetically and physically, people can finally tell what kind of a person you are. And when you finally have an identity, people who are attracted to such an identity will be able to differentiate you from the crowd and thus the theory of “like attracts like” happens.

It sounds simple and easy to do. It is.
But will people do it? No

The sad truth is that..people are weak and lazy. It takes great courage and determination to break hold habits. Most people are lonely, and can not stand their own company for long periods of time. As a result, they let people of all sorts enter in their life and most of the time this causes even more misery.

You see, if you let an angry person to stomp all over you, and act as if you didn’t care. What message are you sending out to the world? That this is okay for you? Energetically, you’re going to start to attract ALOT of angry people into your life because angry people are attracted to weak people.

After you have accepted yourself, then try to learn how to accept others. Give everyone a chance. People usually make bad impressions, and they are really not as bad as you imagine them to be. An important note too is…only give everyone a chance if you have built up enough courage to reject them if you don’t find their company pleasing, otherwise you will be creating even more misery for yourself. Creating boundaries can be an important thing too.

When someone treats you like shit…pardon my language, you should always stand up for yourself okay? But never judge them. Judging them will only make you feel even more angry.

You see, you were the one who decided that it was okay to remain in the relationship.
You were the one that accepted the lowly position of this particular relationship.
If you had stood up for yourself, the other person may have treated you differently.

For example, say there is a person named Mary. You simply cannot tolerate her presence, and she always treat you like utter shit.

You begin to judge her character, and cannot ever get over why she always treat you like this. As a result, everytime she comes into your life, it brings sadness because you cannot/refuse to let go of your anger.

You see, no matter how bad this person called Mary is going to appear in your eyes, she will have friends that enjoy her company. Depending on perspectives, Mary can appear as a good or bad person. She was never designed by god to be compatible with you.
If you don’t like her, then you don’t need to. She doesn’t need to like you too. There are no forces in this world that is binding you and her together, you can step out of the relationship anytime you want.

She is allowed to be who she is. This is fair. You are also allowed to be who you are. This is fair too. So what exactly are you angry about? If someone treats you badly, stand up for yourself if you don’t like to be treated in such a particular way. You have the right, because if you don’t voice out your own opinion, you will only end up being angry at yourself for not tahaving followed your heart.

Most people are unaware of other people’s level of tolerance anyways. People are not going to know that you don’t like what they are doing to you if you don’t express it. If they know, and still do it, then just step away from that insane person. Chances are, that insane person, or “sadness personified” will eventually decide to leave you alone because they now know that you are not the sort of a weak person they are looking for.

By the way, confidence is a hard thing to build upon. It is very easy if taken in small steps.

For example, I’ve always wondered why people always can act so confidently when really, they are always wrong in what they say.

I used to be always put into a situation where someone gives me an advice (usually teachers and elders) and I end up trusting them because of the roles they have in society and from the way they act so confidently, and later on I find out that the information was ENTIRELY WRONG!!!

I mean, if people can act so recklessly, why can’t I voice out my opinions confidently especially when I know wholeheartedly that it correct?
You see, confidence can be gained simply by observing people and learning from your own experience.
Some people carry the learning of confidence less, and some carry it more.
Do not be angry at someone when people give you advice and you take them and end up in a worse situation. It is you who has to take the responsibility of finding the truth.
Only by questioning for the truth, you will receive it.

Hmm, was that from a line in the bible? I’m not sure..I’ve heard it somewhere.

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