Posted by: Jonjon | November 15, 2008

The mind is always asking for more and more and more….

“Don’t be a perfectionist”

If you were born into a farming family in a village that was closed off to the outside world, then you would most likely be happier than most of us. Why is that?

You see…. it’s the many choices that today present to us, like television, entertainment, drinks and so fourth that basically brought the society into an ignorant whole.

You see, it’s very natural for us to feel empty and alone. Everything seems disconnected yet it is not. We cannot face the fact that we are lonely and perhaps a bit bored so we fill it with distractions, and the mind takes advantages of this. After it finds one thing that will entertain it for a while, it will go search out for another when it gets bored again. The need to satisfy ourselves grow and grow until frustrations results and someone ends up in a rehabilitation centre. Well I may be exaggerating, but the point is that..all these symptons point to an ugly truth. We are all lonely, and feel empty inside. Everytime we are alone, we realise this, either consciously or at a subconscious level, and we escape this by finding distractions in this world.

That is why individuals that are born with fewer choices enjoy life more than the rest of us. They may not enjoy life in terms of “a broader spectrum of things” than people with more choices, but they are happier with the few choices they are presented of because they do not have to have the worry or the need to satisfy themselves by searching for more. To the farmers and villagers, the simple joy of attending to farm work and community is enough.

That is why you should never be a perfectionist. The need to satisfy the desire to be perfect is as equally tormenting. Yes…I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing music. I have many compositions that are in the bin because it’s just not good enough. Lets just say, every 100 compositions I begin work on, less than 10 will survive. This is very frustrating. Even after completing a piece, I will still feel that it is not good enough even though I innately know that it is better than average.

I’ve been there, and I know what it is like to have the need to satisfy my hungry mind.

I am not saying that everyone should start moving into village and do farm work. Though it’s the best idea to start a vegetable and fruit garden in your garden in these tough economic times. It will save you alot of money and you will be able to enjoy healthy food without the many added poisons in our soils these days. But rather, the next time you search for fun, ask yourself….can you live without it?

I myself enjoy going out, indulging in delightful foods, watching movies and so fourth. But the difference between me and some people perhaps is….I can be as happy living without all these things. Being by myself used to be one of my biggest fears. It felt like dying to live without friends….to feel that you don’t belong anywhere…to have no interest in what the other people have..but through self-discovery, you will eventually find that loneliness is a natural thing, a fact of life, but the horrible feeling associated with it is not. It is constructed and imagined by the mind. The mind is urging you to believe that this horrible feeling can be removed when you attend to its desires for more things, when in fact the emotion actual stems from not being able to complete this desire. It is all constructed by the mind!

Once you realise this and accept the fact that we are all empty beings then you can progress.

Innately, we all want to be connected with everything and everyone around us, we want to be able to love everything and have everything love us back. But it’s hard to give unconditional love when you cannot love yourself first.

That is perhaps why some Christians may see Buddhism as kinda cruel because Buddhists emphasize on working on themselves rather than in a community. But it’s not. You can’t solve other people’s problems when you don’t even work on your own.


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